Change—Friend or Foe?

The only constant in life is change. Change is everywhere around us, and we see it most noticeably in our individual life journeys. We transition from childhood to youth, from youth to young adulthood, then to middle age, and finally to old age. And all the while, from one stage to another, we are changing.

We may not at first be troubled by change because some changes are welcomed. A 14-year-old boy sprouts five or six inches during the summer, his voice begins to deepen, and when he returns to school, he finds himself taller than the girls! What a relief from the previous year when he had to look up at the crown of God’s creation. That’s a welcomed change.

Likewise, a preteen girl becomes aware of changes in her body, a sign that she is becoming a woman. She becomes more aware of her femininity, perhaps feeling empowered and exhilarated by her physical transformation. That, too, is a welcomed change.

Old age, on the other hand, may not be such a welcomed change. In today’s culture, old age is often a dreaded turning point that some people struggle to accept. Fearful of looking old, people spend exorbitant amounts of money to appear younger.

It’s a losing strategy. Plastic surgeries, cosmetics, diets, or even exercise can stall but not turn back the clock. Old age is inevitable. Older people who undergo procedures to make them look younger simply look like older people who have had procedures to make them look younger. No one is fooled. The effects, unfortunately, can sometimes be either comical or tragic.

At some point we all begin to feel and look our age. A little arthritis in the joints, cataracts, medication for an assortment of health issues, sagging skin and wrinkles, less stamina, trouble remembering names are all signs of aging. Added to all of that, old age can be the next to last stage before death, a source of anxiety for a culture of Americans obsessed with youth.

But old age doesn’t have to be a dead-end (no pun intended). After crossing over into old age, there can still be all kinds of meaningful changes before our time on earth has run its course—changes that add increased meaning to life.

I’m now in my 70s and recognize the tell-tale effects of aging. Still, I have found life to be invigorating, sometimes even more rewarding than earlier years. I have had my share of health issues, as have many in my age group, but I continue to be fascinated by life, by all that I do not know, by what I can still learn, and by the possibilities of continued growth that lie before me.

There are so many books I haven’t read, conversations with people I yearn to have, mysteries of life that continue to intrigue me, music that inspires me, and relationships with family and friends that I want to strengthen. Life still dazzles me! True, I will leave this earth without completing all my goals. But when the time comes for my journey to end, I want to at least know that I traveled the path as best I could with the talents and abilities the Good Lord gave me. After all, as someone has said, life is God’s gift to us and what we do with it is our gift to God.

Throughout this ongoing change into old age, I have taken inspiration from people who have blazed the trail before me. My wife and I are friends with several nonagenarians—people in their 90s. We’re awed by how they continue to grow, develop, and learn as human beings, unwilling to squander the remaining time God has given them. They read or listen to audio books, watch historical documentaries, converse intelligently about political and social issues, take on-line college courses, paint, play bridge, and even change their minds about culturally controversial issues. I want to follow in their footsteps.

My wife and I have grown to admire, even adore, a 92-year-old woman named Lois who lives in a distant state. I met Lois when I was in college, and she was a young mom with three children. I was a know-it-all college student, with uncompromising opinions about God and religion, but she and her husband, Howard, befriended me and patiently listened to my youthful prattle without judgement. Their home was a refuge of sorts for me during my summer months when I was home from college. I always felt welcomed and never felt out-of-place in their presence.

Over 50 years have passed and much has happened in her life and mine since those days. Her husband tragically died soon after his retirement, she has had joint replacements, suffers from back problems, and recently had to move out of the home she had lived in for decades. In short, my friend Lois has experienced many challenging changes.

Yet, she shows no bitterness in the changes that have shaped her life. Her body has grown more fragile, but her wit is still razor sharp, her sense of humor ever-ready to tease, and her interest in her family and friends not dulled with time.

Her days are filled with family, friends, shopping, and reading. She enjoys games with friends, watching favorite shows on television, and engaging in a variety of hobbies. She jokes about her infirmities and refuses to let the loss of her husband or her assortment of aches and pains define her. She continues to grow intellectually and spiritually as a human being. And, more important, she makes the world a better place for everyone who enters her presence. She lives a more meaningful life than many people half her age.

People like my friend Lois help me to see that even the change to old age does not necessarily mean a diminished life. Life, though unpredictable and continually influx, is a gift and meant to be lived to the fullest extent possible. Lois, and people like her, show us the way.

The wise author of Ecclesiastes reminds us that there is a time to be born and a time to die (Eccl. 3). In between birth and death, however, there is life and in life there will be many changes, constant changes. The secret to a fulfilled and contented life is to embrace them all.